Drew Read online

  When I pulled up to her house, I thought momentarily about just dropping her shit on the porch and leaving, but I had her purse, so that wasn’t really a good option. I unloaded the first set of paint supplies and brought it to her front door. I gave a hard knock and waited for a minute before she answered. When she did, I was taken aback. She looked horrible. She was leaning heavily on the door and she had a large, beige wrap sweater on that she was hugging to her chest as she slouched over. Her hair was pulled up in a messy knot on the top of her head and her face was blue on the right side. If someone bumped into her, she’d probably face plant.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m just tired. I haven’t slept too much. There’s not much I can take for pain without harming the baby.”

  I nodded. “Well, I brought your stuff from the garage. Where do you want me to put it?”

  “Um, you can just set it anywhere.” She waved her hand to the living room and then went and sank down in the couch. Her head immediately went to the arm of the couch and her body seemed to be swallowed by the cushions.

  I quickly unloaded the truck and then brought her purse over to her. “I picked up a phone for you. It’s nothing fancy. It’s just a flip phone, but at least you can call someone if you need help. I programmed my number in and Sean’s also. Here’s a prepaid phone card. You can add more minutes as you need them.”

  She stared at the phone for a minute as if pondering whether or not she really needed it. “It’s not in my name is it?”

  I furrowed my brow. That was an odd thing to ask. “No. I bought it with my card and the minutes can be added with cash.”

  She nodded and closed her eyes. I sat there looking at her trying to figure her out, but she was an enigma to me. Of course, I hadn’t tried to get to know her.

  “What rooms are you planning to paint?”

  “All of them,” she said sleepily.

  “Before you go to sleep, you should really try to eat something.”

  “I’m not hungry. I just want to sleep.”

  “Sarah, that’s really not good for the baby.”

  “Really? What do you know about babies? Do you have one?”

  A stab of pain shot through me as I thought of the child I should have had. “No, I don’t have any kids.”

  “Well, then how about you leave me alone and let me take care of myself and my child. You think I don’t know what you think of me? I know you think I’m some trashy whore that got herself knocked up. You think whatever you want. I don’t need to prove myself to you or anyone else in this town.”

  “I’m not judging you.”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit. You’ve judged me since the day you met me. Just go away. I don’t need anyone. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

  I leaned back and watched her for a minute. Her eyes were closed and I could see the bruising around her eyes from the accident and probably lack of sleep. She looked so tiny lying on the couch and I began to wonder for the first time how she ended up in this position. I usually tried not to interfere in others’ lives, but this woman was getting under my skin. Not that I wanted her, I just wanted to understand her.

  After a minute, her breathing evened out and I knew she was asleep. I took a few minutes to look around her house. There was no TV, no pictures, no computer, nothing personal. It looked like she had moved in with clothes. I recognized it because that’s what I used to do. I didn’t want to have any attachments, so I didn’t bring anything with me. She was going to have a baby, though. Shouldn’t she have something that would show she was putting down roots?

  I got up because it was none of my business what she chose to do. I went to her kitchen and saw her discharge papers. Being the nosy fucker that I was, I read over them. Basically she had a bunch of bumps and bruises and since she was pregnant, she was on bed rest for the next week. She had been spotting in the hospital, but the baby appeared fine, so they discharged her. She was to call back if she had any cramping or bleeding.

  After reading that, I decided it would be the neighborly thing to make sure she had some ready meals so that she wasn’t doing shit she wasn’t supposed to. Shit. She didn’t have anyone to help her during the day. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t my problem and I wasn’t going to worry about it. I made some dinner for her and put it in the fridge for later.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  The next morning, I found myself walking over to Sarah’s house. I wasn’t sure why and frankly, I didn’t really have the time. I was supposed to be at work in an hour, but something was telling me to go check on her. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I tried the door, but it was locked. I raised my fist and started pounding.

  “Sarah!”

  Pounding some more, I waited for an answer and still didn’t get one. What the fuck was going on?

  “Sarah, answer the goddamn door.”

  When she still didn’t answer, I walked around the house, peering in windows to try and see her. I was passing the bathroom window when I finally saw her. She was lying in the tub, unmoving. I banged on the window, but got no answer. Shit. I ran around to the front of the house and practically broke the door down. I ran down the hall to the bathroom, flinging the door open. Thrusting my hands in the water, I grabbed her behind her back and under her legs just as a piercing noise hit my ears. It took me a minute to register that it was her screaming.

  “What are you doing? Get out of my bathroom!”

  I gently set her back down, but not before noticing that most of the bubbles were missing from the tub and I could see every inch of her body.

  “I said get out! Stop looking at me.”

  I backed up and ran into her sink before turning and heading out the door. I waited for her in the living room and it took a good ten minutes before she came out dressed in a robe. I stood and stepped toward her.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

  “Embarrass me? Why would I be embarrassed? You’re the one who came into my bathroom unannounced!”

  Her face was red with anger and she was holding her side.

  “Are you okay? Why are you holding your side?”

  “Someone came into my bathroom and scared the crap out of me while I was trying to soak.”

  “I’m sorry. I came to check on you and you didn’t answer the door. I saw you in the tub through the window-”

  “You were watching me through the window?”

  “I was just trying to make sure you were okay. I pounded on the window, but you didn’t answer, so I broke in your door and came in here right away. I thought you were unconscious.”

  “Do you hear yourself? You broke into my house because I was taking a bath!”

  “You weren’t answering!”

  “I had headphones in!”

  “How the fuck would I see that from the window?”

  “Why the fuck would you be looking through my windows? Don’t you know how to respect a person’s privacy?”

  “Look, I was just coming to make sure you’re okay. I’ve done that and now I’m leaving.”

  I walked toward the front door and stopped at the sight of the door hanging off its hinges. Sarah came hobbling around the corner, yelling at me. She gasped when she saw the door.

  “Wait! You broke down my door. What the hell are you gonna do about that?”

  “I’ll have someone from work come fix it.”

  “You’d better have someone out here in an hour. It’s fucking cold outside and I don’t need my heat bill skyrocketing.”

  “I promise. Just relax. I’ll take care of it.”

  “Just relax? I’ll fucking relax when you leave me alone. Do not ever come over here again. I don’t need you to play white knight and save the day, so next time you think I’m in trouble, turn around and walk away.”

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won’t step foot on your property unless I absolutely have to.”

  I walked out the door and trudged over to my hous
e. I put in a call to Ryan and headed into work. I didn’t need this shit. That ungrateful bitch could sit there and freeze for all I cared.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  I had about ten acres of land that wasn’t farm land, so there was plenty of space for my garden. I decided to build my greenhouse and put my garden off to the right by the field on the back side of the house. It was far enough away from the house that I didn’t have to stare at a greenhouse when I was out relaxing. I hadn’t decided what I was going to do with the rest of the land for now. The ten acres was covered in grass, but there were hardly any trees. Sometimes, I wished that I had enough trees to line the property between my house and Sarah’s, but at night when the sun set, it was so gorgeous that I couldn’t imagine covering the view.

  I spent all my free time working on building my greenhouse and getting all the vegetables planted. When I wasn’t at work, I was in my backyard. I sectioned off a patch of land and got a rototiller to work the ground. It was still a little cool for most crops to be planted, but I went ahead and planted what I could.

  Iris and I had a garden that year we were in the house. She wasn’t able to enjoy it very much, but I did it for her and she sat out in a chair watching me work.

  “You should really be inside resting. It’s too cool outside for you.”

  “Pfft. Nonsense. I’m fine. I have a blanket around me to keep me warm. Besides, the view out here is better than anything I could see inside.”

  I glanced at her and saw her eyes trailing over my body. There weren’t many days when she felt well, but on the days she did, she just wanted to do something to feel normal. I dropped my hoe and walked over to her, kneeling in front of her.

  “You see something you like?”

  “You mean like the hot, sweaty man in front of me? Yeah, he’s okay.” She smiled brightly before grabbing the cowboy hat off my head and setting it on her own. “What do ya think, cowboy? You wanna take me for a ride?” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively at me, eliciting a huge grin from me.

  “Well now, ma’am, my momma raised me to be a gentleman. I don’t know that that would be proper.”

  “Why my, my. You are quite the gentleman. I’m afraid my poor, southern heart couldn’t take it if you declined to take me for a ride.” She fanned herself dramatically while batting her eyelashes at me.

  “Ma’am, I couldn’t stand it if I was the reason your poor heart was broken.”

  I picked her up and carried her inside where I made love to her.

  I smiled at the memory as I stopped working and laughed at her playfulness. I looked over, thinking that I would see her sitting next to the garden in a chair, waiting for me to take her inside. All I saw was a lawn and a house that didn’t have a thing to do with her. Just like that, the memories faded and I was brought back to the present, reminded that I would never get to take her inside and make love to her again.

  That had been the last time I had made love to her. She was too weak after that to do much of anything. I hadn’t cared. I just wanted her to get better so we could move on with life. I never once let myself think about moving on without her. I guess that’s why it had been such a shock to me when she passed. I knew it was coming and I knew I had to prepare, but my mind wouldn’t let me accept that she was going to be leaving me. I remember her mother calling the minister when she passed to come say a prayer for her. I had been too distressed to pray to God for anything other than for him to bring her back to me.

  My hand went to the rings that were laying against my chest. Some days it felt like they were literally burning a hole in my skin, but I couldn’t bring myself to take the chain from around my neck. So much of my life had been wrapped around Iris. The rings symbolized more than a marriage. They were reminders of a love that could never be lost, even in death.

  After about a half hour of sitting in my garden, being swallowed up in memories, I finally picked up my tools and headed to the shed to put them all away. There was no point in working on the garden anymore today. It would only bring memories back that were better left forgotten.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Sarah

  A MONTH HAD passed since my unfortunate incident with the deer. I was getting ready for work when the mail arrived and I went out to grab it. I was usually too tired after work to stop for the mail and so I tried to get it before work when possible. Today was not my lucky day, though. Opening the mailbox, I saw the letter I had been dreading. It was from my case manager telling me that I was due in court next week and that someone would be picking me up on Friday. All the pertinent details were listed, including the fact that I should plan to be gone for a week. That was more than I wanted to take, but it wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter.

  When I got to work, I told my boss that I had a family funeral to attend and I would have to leave on Friday and I might be gone up to a week. There was a good chance I could lose my job over this. I hadn’t been there that long and I had already taken off due to my car accident. I had to look like the most unreliable employee ever. However, Hank was really nice and told me to take all the time I needed. It was very generous of him and I thanked him, giving him a big hug.

  As the week went on, I tried to reign in my emotions, but the idea of going through that night all over again scared the shit out of me. The prosecution already told me that I wouldn’t be able to give my testimony via video, I would need to be in court. They couldn’t give a written testimony because it wasn’t as effective as in person. Besides, the defense argued that they would not be able to properly cross examine, which the judge agreed with. I was going to be called to the stand on Monday at nine in the morning. There was no getting out of it. I had to do it if I wanted protection.

  I was hoping that I could sneak out of town without anyone the wiser, but of course, my annoying neighbor didn’t miss a thing. He came outside as soon as the black SUV pulled into the driveway and watched them as they loaded my bags into the trunk. Still, I thought I could escape, but then he started walking toward me.

  “Sarah, you going somewhere?”

  “Um…yeah. These are some family members of mine. My …um..father died and they’re taking me to his funeral. We’re driving so, I’ll probably be gone about a week.”

  “Family, huh? Do all your family members carry multiple weapons on them at all times?”

  The agents stiffened next to me and I started to feel panic creep up. My throat felt like it was closing up, but I couldn’t allow him to suspect that anything was wrong. I let out a little chuckle.

  “We’re from Texas. Everyone carries a gun in Texas. Don’t you worry. They have permits.”

  “Funny. I didn’t hear an accent.”

  “I haven’t lived in Texas for a long time.”

  He didn’t look like he believed me, but he nodded and walked back to his house.

  We made the drive back to New York and I was immediately escorted to a secured hotel room with guards posted outside my hotel room. I was terrified to be here alone. All the shades were drawn in the room and the agents told me to leave them down because we didn’t want to give snipers a good shot. That didn’t make me feel any better. I longed to be back in my little run down house in Pennsylvania. I had felt safe there, but part of getting placed there was under the condition that I return to testify if my husband’s murderer was caught. If I chose not to, I would no doubt have half the Italian mob hot on my heels to put a bullet in my head because the government would not provide me with witness protection.

  I had never felt so alone as I did waiting to give my testimony on Monday. The agents were there for my protection only and I had no family or friends that I could talk to. This would be the rest of my life. I would never see my friends again and I didn’t have any family other than Todd’s parents. He had never been close to them, so I really doubted that they even cared what happened to me.

  I dyed my hair back to its original color of blonde and made sure I had all the makeup necessary to look like my old self. I had
switched to brown colored contacts when I was put in witness protection because my eyes were a distinctive blue. For the next few days, I had to remember to not put them in.

  I spent all of Sunday preparing with the prosecution for taking the stand. I was nervous and my stomach was churning to the point I thought I would be sick. The prosecution suggested I take something to calm my nerves, but there was nothing I could take while pregnant. I just needed to suck it up and do this before I chickened out.

  I waited in a secluded room on Monday until I was called to the stand. My knees shook as I walked through the court room and took the stand, then was sworn in. I sat down and wiped the sweat from my palms on my skirt, hoping that I could give solid testimony that would get my husband’s killer put away for life. As I looked at Marco Abruzzo, a hitman for the Italian mafia, all I saw was the promise of revenge. My body quaked in fear at the threat in his eyes. I forced myself to look away from him and focused on the agents that were there to protect me.

  I closed my eyes and saw Todd’s face in my mind. I imagined him in front of me and telling me everything would be okay. Todd had a strength to him that infused me as I sat in the chair in the witness box preparing to put his murderer in jail. He winked at me one last time before I opened my eyes. I could still feel him surrounding me, even if I could no longer see his face. When the assistant district attorney stepped forward, I braced myself for the next few hours of questioning.

  “Mrs. Matthews, can you please tell us what happened the night your husband was murdered?”

  “My husband and I were out celebrating and we went to Mama Lolita’s for dinner.”

  “What were you celebrating?”

  “I had just found out that I was pregnant.”